Thursday, November 19, 2009

Use Your INSIDE Voice

One thing that I left out of my post yesterday (I know, you're wondering HOW could she have left anything out? -- it was a book) ... well I did, so now you have to hear it (well, read it).

I'm trying to chill out at Starbucks yesterday morning patiently waiting for my locksmith.  I'm looking through the paper (for ideas on who to attack, I mean, politely ask for silent auction items).  So, I'm noting my ideas and chugging my mocha ... when this shrill shriek comes from the corner.  What could it be?  We are not in the wilderness, so it can't be a hyena.  I turn to sneek a peak ... and found the source.  These two women were taking up the comfy chairs in the back.  Woman B, was the shrieker.  Everytime she spoke or laughed it was like nails down a chalkboard.  It was just horrendous.  She was so loud and obnoxious.  So, of course, I start plotting her immediate death in my head - and yes, it would start with the vocal chords.

Well, then Woman A got a word in, finally.  I almost fell off of my seat when she told Shrieker Chic - that her husband really liked them being friends.  That she (Woman A) had this other friend that really got on his nerves, but he could actually spend time around Woman B.  WHAT?!  Who could this other friend be?  Leonna Helmsly is dead and Kimora Lee Simmons doesn't live in the area.  Then it gets worse, Woman A states that the one thing her husband really enjoys about Woman B - is her, LAUGH.  WHAT?  I mean, I have spent 10 minutes listening to her and I think my ears are about to bleed.  The guy has to either be losing his hearing or is already deaf (or will soon be if he hangs around the shrieker much longer).  Surely she cannot be married.  Otherwise, she would not be out and about - as her husband would have her tied up at home with a roll of duct tape around her mouth.

So, you are probably thinking that I was ease dropping.  Oh no!  I could have put in the earplugs that plane mechanics wear and STILL could have heard their entire conversation.

Lesson:  when you are inside a public place (i.e. Starbucks); use your inside voice because no one else wants to hear your inane conversation or your shrieks and snorts everytime your companion says anything.  If you can't stay within these social boundaries - then stay the hell out of MY Starbucks!

1 comment:

  1. Chasity, I love you! I can't blog like you do. You are so funny!! I love reading "our" blog. :) Jenn