IKEA Revisited (yes, a lot like Brideshead)

Yes, I know that I had sworn to NEVER return to IKEA again; however, I had to return quite a few items, as sometimes design ideas look so much better in my head than in reality.  So hear we go.  Mitchell drops me off and waits in the car.  I make the trek into the store from hell.  I was totally expecting to have to rescan my items, process my own return, and even restock the items.  But, to my surprise there are 2 real, actual people working in the Return Dept.  Yay I think and I get a little hope.  Then the boy behind the counter asks me if I took a number.  WHAT?  Yes, they had one of those machines where you have to pull a number and then wait to be called.  Ta-da, here is the machine:

  So I'm heading over to the number machine and as I'm reaching to pull a number, this ass (we'll call him shaggy) of a "man" (and I use that word very loosely) grabs a number first!  I of course give him "the look" and say "really?" ... he ignores me and returns to his partner.

So I take a seat, with my number, on an uncomfortable, stupid, IKEA bench.  Things do seem to be moving along in the return lines and then - of course - one of the workers collects her items and leaves the desk.  So, I continue to sit and to wait - while staring down the 2 inconsiderate gay guys who stole my number.

I have a flashback of the Beetlejuice movie, where Beetlejuice is in the waiting room to talk to one of the afterworld people and he steals the head hunter's numbers so he can be seen sooner.  Of course, then he gets his head shrunk.  So, I decide not to go take my rightful number back.

Guy 175 goes up the to the counter - he's dressed in black pants and a black shiny shirt - yes, nice.  He doesn't have a receipt so the IKEA boy takes a good 5 minutes explaining to him the return policy, finally he gets hauled off to somewhere else.  Then the "guys" get called up (with what should have been my number 176).  Shaggy realizes once he gets to the counter, he has brought in the wrong box!  Poetic justice!  I loved it.  I actually laughed, yes out loud.  He and lover boy storm out.  Here I go, 177, my return goes smoothly to my shocking disbelief.  Got my $90 credit and still have re-vowed NEVER to return to that horrid store again.

I will give you a hint however, if you are a foreigner or a gay guy (hell, maybe even a gay foreigner) IKEA is the new scene on Saturday night.