Priorities

I was really convicted today about priorities ... here's the back story.

I have been struggling for a while with STRESS and trying to really find my calling ... wow, what a long, hard road that has been for at least the past year.  I have been so stressed lately that it has effected everything in my life - my private time with God, my family, my sleep, my work (even though that's what is causing the stress!), my memory, my organization and as it finally dawned on me Sunday and then again yesterday - my relationships with dear friends.

I have been so caught up with work (and so stressed out due to work) that I have only thought of myself lately.  The stress has led to selfishness!  In my mind it has been ME, ME, ME.  I have not been Holy to the Lord by any means.

On Sunday, between church services, I pulled out my prayer journal and what do I see?  Well, for one, a long lapse from the last time I wrote and my notes from the last meeting with my prayer group ... um, it dawned on me then that I had dropped the ball in two ways with one of my prayer partners.  Not only had I not being praying for what was discussed, but I didn't follow up with her about how the doctor's appointment had gone with her son.  I felt awful!

Then comes yesterday, I'm having my own little crisis and of course Facebooked it and had a great outpouring of support and prayers.  Monday went by as a blur - then when I checked email this morning - there it was.  One from my other prayer partner who had told me that her company was having a big meeting on Monday ... and she shared with me the results of that meeting, which weren't great.  There I was again ... hadn't spent time praying for her and hadn't followed up with her.  UGH.  Bad friend!

I kept thinking about these two things today and realized that my calendar is filled with "stuff" - meetings, appointments, deadlines, etc. ... everything except the really important dates that should read, "Check with XXX regarding her son's doctor's appointment."  and "Check with XXX regarding her meeting."

I have started working through some of my stress (with the help of prayer) and taking new steps - and just by doing that ... I seem to feel better, be able to breathe a bit more.  Now the next step ... keep my priorities in check.

Thank you God for smacking me over the head with this - three days in a row!!!

Musings, but not really

I have not been doing such a good job at doing something creative each day as I had planned.  I have just been in a funk.  I'm tired.  I'm cranky.  And I think I have developed ADD ... is that possible?

Jenn had to talk me "down" from a mini meltdone this morning at the office.  I can't focus on anything for more than 5-10 minutes.  That goes for all aspects of my life:  conversations, work, crafts (even GASP ... knitting). 

What is wrong with me?!?  Today I actually had to come home from work early because I couldn't concentrate and was so so tired.  I fell asleep on the couch for a couple of hours.

Good thing my hubby called and woke me up ... so my poor kiddo wasn't left waiting for me to pick her up after school.  (Side Note:  when I picked her up she had ice on one of her fingers, from a 3 hole punch incident at school ... so off to the doctor we go just to make sure it wasn't broken ... whew, it wasn't). 

I'm sleeping at night, but it doesn't feel like it and I'm having some wacky dreams.  I guess all of this could be just plain ol stress.  Ever since I had my ankle surgery (and well, a bit before that) -- I just can't seem to get caught up at work or home for that matter.  Work is piled high.  Laundry (even though it is clean) is piled high ready to be folded.  I keep waiting for the damn laundry elf and he never shows up!  Tonight for dinner ... I ate butter beans, Mitchell had cereal and after much discussion, my dear daughter had to "cook dinner" by making herself some PastaRoni.  It was quite dramatic.

Please do not call CPS - this is usually not the norm at the house.


Random thoughts, as that is all I have these days:

* I may scream if one more person asks me (1) what happened to my foot (I tore a tendon); (2) how did I injure it? (I have no idea ... but I have got to start making up some wild stories for shock value); and (3) how much longer will I be in the boot (forever!).
* My car fob will not make the parking garage elevator open ... I have tried this several times lately.  Thankfully I was alone during these times.
* I am not really a people person and therefore I do not want to have casual chit chat with random "happy" people at my Starbucks.  People, SHUT UP and drink your coffee and let me drink mine!
* I do believe that I have developed an addiction to everything Law & Order.  I watch (well, have it on) for many, many hours a day.  My family is starting to groan and the first sounds of the theme song.  How could anyone not love Law & Order?

Well, I feel a bit better getting this out in blog land.  I will be taking some time off this week from work (even though I really shouldn't since it will put me even further behind) -- but I hope to try to relax, clear my mind, and actually get some crafting done.